Finding Your Self Again In A Neurodiverse Family
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A few years ago I went through an incredible tough time in my life. I was dealing with issues from my past along with significant changes in my career and realizing we had a neurodiverse family. I felt lost and questioned the plans I had made for the future. I realized I was so focused on taking care of other peoples needs that I no longer took the time to ask what are my needs? What are my dreams? It was time to stop being what others needed from me and discover the uniqueness God gave me and live my life with the purpose He gave me.
So how does one start when you are lost? Honestly I spend some time on Pinterest creating boards of items I liked or enjoyed. But that felt so . . . superficial.
Then I sorted through my personality and career resources on a whim. I took different types of assessments, questionnaires and quizzes to take a fresh look at my passions, gifts and skills. I also journaled a great deal writing down the issues I need to address and my personal growth.
From this process came a phrase that has become important to me, “Truly Me”. I began recording my notes under this title with the goal to discover and accept who God truly made me to be.
If you are in a similar position, realizing in the midst of life you have lost yourself, I have some ideas to help you be “Truly You”.
Journal
This is a crucial step. Write down your thoughts, feelings and concerns in this moment in life. Make note of the difference between what you feel and what is reality. Review your journalings for anything that jumps out as a lie about yourself and write down the truth. For example if you wrote “I’m not talented in anything” write a new sentence such as, “I am very good at creating health meals and connecting with people” or whatever you are good at.
If you do not like to write, consider creating a junk journal or smash book with personal items, quotes and images.
Favorite lists: create a list of your favorite hobbies, foods, tv shows, books/magazines. Then review your list and cross off any that maybe are someone else favorites but not your own.
Personality quiz – Do you know your personality type? If not I believe it is important to learn how you uniquely perceive and respond to the world. My favorite personality assessment is the Myers-Brigg personality which covers 16 different personality types. You can complete free assessments at 16 Personalities and Humanmetrics.
Career Interests
Holland Code This quiz helps you identify your strongest career interests under from the following categories: Realistic, Investigative, Artistic, Social, Enterprising, and Conventional. You can complete a free quiz at Truity.
LifeKeys
While working at a college I came across the LifeKeys program and was impressed. It is bibilically based method in discovering your purpose. I believe the website states it best:
“LifeKeys is a spiritually-based program that gives you a multi-faceted approach to understanding your meaning and purpose. At its foundation is the belief that understanding what to do with your talents and gifts isn’t enough. Giving both individuals and teams a sense of meaning or mission calls first for appreciation of their gifts and then alignment with causes or purposes that motivate action.”
In LifeKeys you are able to discover your life gifts, values, personality type and mission statement.
These are the two resources I have used with this program is the Life Keys book and the Life Keys Discovery Workbook.
Bring it all together
After I finished this process I wanted to remind myself what I discovered so I created a Truly Me board and hang it on my wall as a reminder. This is something you can do in a bulletin board or a journal. I used card from my Project Life kit to write down and display all I had learned.
Now it is your turn. Do you need rediscover your purpose? Do you need to take a “Truly Me” journey? There is no reason not to begin. If you decide to take this venture please send me an email and let me know. I would love to encourage you.